Let me go on record as saying 2019 was one of the best years of movies we’ve had in my lifetime. The sheer quantity of excellent films has been overwhelming. However, even in a year as filled to the brim with quality as 2019, a few turds always sneak their way in there.
So, here are the worst movies I’ve seen in 2019. And keep your eyes peeled next week when I publish my favorites of the year.
Keep in mind, there was plenty of potentially bad movies released this year I didn’t see. I try to make it a point to see a few movies in any given year that don’t have a stellar Rotten Tomatoes score, but hopefully the number of good movies I see in a year will always outnumber the bad.
Here are a couple dishonorable mentions:
Dumbo
Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile
Five Feet Apart
Fractured
Midway
10. The Art of Racing in the Rain. 2/5
Coming in last place on the only list you want to be last place in, we have the Milo Ventimiglia race car melodrama. Not everything here is a travesty. The Art of Racing in the Rain is too inoffensive to be vile, but too inconsequential to be remembered. Milo Ventimiglia and Amanda Seyfried do their best to elevate the script, but there’s only so much you can do with a script that would feel clunky on the Hallmark Channel.
9. Jexi. 2/5
Adam Devine and Alexandra Shipp deliver charming performances, and the movie isn’t void of a couple laughs. But as far as quality goes, Jexi feels like it was written and thrown together by some frat boys who think making movies is easier than playing football.
8. The Goldfinch. 2/5
What little merit this movie has is because of the fine work by its outstanding cast, especially Oaks Fegly, Finn Wolfhard, and Luke Wilson (and those three really did elevate the movie for me), and the beautiful cinematography from the always great Roger Deakins. Other than that, the film aimlessly wonders from moment to moment, never really justifying its existence, making the director seem totally void of vision. Add to it a lifeless script, and one is left wondering if The Goldfinch is ultimately an unadaptable book. All in all, it is a boring, depressing, well-acted mess.
7. Angel Has Fallen. 1.5/5
The reason this isn’t lower on my list is because I watched it with my Gammy, and she stans Gerard Butler. But as a stand-alone picture, Angel Has Fallen is an utterly un-inspired, cynical cash-grab.
6. Wounds. 1.5/5
This a colossal disappointment because there is so much potential here. Armie Hammer, Dakota Johnson, and Zazie Beats are all bringing their A-Game, and Director Babak Anvari establishes excellent atmosphere, chilling visuals, and a gripping set up. But after it sets you up, it does nothing but let you down. Wounds is an underdeveloped attempt at psychological horror that isn’t disappointing because of a lack of talent, but because Babak’s approach can only be described as either lazy or patronizing.
5. Countdown. 1.5/5
Interesting premise. Too bad this is one of the laziest and messiest horror films I’ve seen in a while.
4. In Tall Grass. 1.5/5
Stephen King gets more trash adaptations than he does good ones. In Tall Grass is no exception. Subpar dialogue and a plot too thin to support a feature length movie bog down some decent performances. The film is as aimless as the characters seem trying to get out of the tall grass.
3. The Dirt. 1/5
A movie about Motely Crew made by Motely Crew, relishes in how fun their Jack-Ass lifestyles were, but then tries to tell the audience how sorry and wrong they are for their reckless behavior. The Dirt is surface level, hypocritical trash with very little redeeming qualities to it.
2. Rambo: Last Blood. 0.5/5
I knew going into this that I was not the target audience. My expectations were adjusted. But even with all that in mind, I was shocked by how much I hated this movie. It is wildly offensive, stupid, repugnant, trash.
1. Cats. 0.5/5
Even after the trailer dropped and we that saw the visuals were the stuff of nightmares, I tried to keep an open mind. Then I saw the reviews, and my morbid curiosity was peaked. Imagine every bad thing you’ve heard about this movie... it’s worse than that. It felt like being in time out, just miserably stuck in time. It’s two hours of plotless, horny, twitchy, horrific looking cat/human hybrids. The walk back to my car in the cold rain without a jacket was filled with joy because at least I wasn’t watching Cats anymore. I don’t know what I did to deserve such ill-treatment from director Tom Hooper. I hated it.
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